Today’s edition of the UDC goes out to all the hippies celebrating today.  May they be too lazy to read this.

The NFL Draft – Thursday is the culmination of all the NFL draft hype.  It’s the day where we all find out whose mock draft was the best and whose mock draft was dead wrong.  It also signals the end of the two jock sniffers bickering on ESPN like 16 year girls arguing over who Jimmy is going to ask to the Homecoming dance.  That’s right, I’m talking about Todd McShay and the king of windbags himself, Mel Kiper Jr.  As you watch the draft coverage all weekend, sports fans, just remember, they’re almost gone from your TV for another 8 months.  We’re up.

The Cubs bullpen – Nothing makes me want to vomit on myself more than seeing Jeff Samardijza entering the game.  Remember in South Park when Stan used to vomit every time Wendy Testaburger would speak to him?  I get that same reaction every time I see Jeff warming up in the pen.  In fact, I get that reaction every time I see the Cubs carry a lead late into the game.  They’re down.

And it’s time to start over.

Donovan McNabb -  I almost fell over in my seat when I heard he had actually wanted TO back on his team.  This is the same TO who threw him under the bus by basically challenging his testicular fortitude in the weeks and months after their Super Bowl appearance. This TO isn’t anywhere near the same TO in terms of on field production either.  I can’t believe McNabb thinks 1. he can win a Super Bowl in Washington and 2. TO will act like a model citizen on an NFL team and help him achieve that goal.  He’s a clown.